The Fish Story
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•September 24, 2014
Goldfish Gets Brain Surgery; Bad News for Bears Everywhere
GOLDEN GEORGE LIVES ON: This could qualify as an “Only in America” story, except it took place in Australia, where arguably the world’s luckiest goldfish is comfortably recovering after delicate…
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•September 17, 2014
Batty at the Borderline; Becoming a Great White Snark
I have to begin with the opening paragraph from the publication Nogales International.
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•September 10, 2014
It’s Now LBI or Kilimanjaro; Try Vaping for Better Bassing
WE BE BAD!: Most of you have read or heard about the bizarre Time magazine article asserting that we live in one of the most dangerous places known – surely up there with Iran, Syria, Afghanistan…
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•September 3, 2014
Artifact Is Truly an Oddity; Going Balls Out for $30,000
UNREAL CLOVIS FIND – LITERALLY: I have been a bit mum, a shortened form of mummified, on what’s now a beyond-huge news story about a young boy finding an ancient Paleo-Indian artifact in Beach Haven.…
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•August 27, 2014
Watch for ‘Snowls’ Is On; Holgate Opening – Part Way
Summer won’t officially expire on our calendars until Sept. 22 but there are two real-world things that overtake mere calendar cessations: namely, school start-ups and Labor Day. While those two…
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•August 20, 2014
Ice and Cigar Bucket Challenge; Language and I Have a Go at It
I have to take a moment to ponder the utterly viral ice bucket challenges, now a form of social media madness. Simply put – and there is no other way to put it – one is challenged to not donate $100…
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•August 13, 2014
Viagra Gets Spider Bit; Smokey Bear Hits 70
Let’s give it up for that utterly astounding weekend past.
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•August 6, 2014
Get Your Make-Up Weekend; Seems We Ain’t Bein’ Bit
This past weekend was so bad the chamber of commerce has rescheduled a make-up weekend for late September, when the weather is sure to be sweet. Anyone still holding tickets for last weekend can…
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•July 30, 2014
Snake Creature of Our Very Own; Uglier Side of Giant Anteaters
IT’S REAL, I TELL YOU! IT’S REAL: You might have heard about a huge, somewhat greenish-hued snake seen and re-seen in New Jersey’s Lake Hopatcong. Size estimates ranged from six feet to infinity.
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•July 23, 2014
Tata Bikini Top Girls Want Me; It Takes a Village to Save a Bay
A TRULY TITILLATING OFFER: Wait until you get a load of this. I was recently contacted, online, to become intimately involved with what I can only call the nipple rights movement. If I’m lyin’, I’m…
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•July 16, 2014
Sunday Escape Shortcut; Your Hands Stink
SACRED LBI SECRET REVEALED: My conscience has finally gotten the better of me. I’ve seen how badly folks leaving the Island on Sundays have suffered when getting mired in traumatic traffic jams. So…
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•July 10, 2014
Let’s Just Forget Memory Loss; Oceanic Plastics Go Missing
Boy, was that some sorta holiday weekend or what? I now have to go all the way back to last year’s July 4th fishing column and erase the part where I wrote, “It can get no bigger than this weekend.”
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•July 2, 2014
Getting Along With Great Whites; Holgate Becomes Terrapin Town
HAVE YE A HAPPY JULY 4th: It’s called the biggest weekend of the year. Lengthwise, the weekend itself is no different than any other, but add in an insane showing of the beach-huddled massesand fit…
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•June 24, 2014
Balls Out for Spaghetti and Soccer; New Hope for Great White Sharks
I’m pretty sure I’ve been watching the World Cup. I’m sorry but it’s the only sporting event where I actually snap to when commercials come on. Still, I’m the first to admit that this lengthy event…
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•June 12, 2014
Just a Touch of the Bubonic Plague; Box Turtles and More Box Turtles
My column is a tad off this week. OK, make that more taddishly off than usual.
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•June 5, 2014
Arrow-Shot Gull Flying Above LBI; Selfies Are for All, Except Muslims
ARROW-SHOT GULL: There has been a herring gull flying around LBI with an arrow in it. Yes, an arrow arrow.
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•May 29, 2014
A Weekend That Wowed; The Clash of the Cursives
Now that was one helluva weekend! It was kick-ass in many ways, from fishing to beaching to commercing. I’m a weird local. I love a summer crowd.
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•May 22, 2014
Windmill Wheels Go ‘Round and ‘Round; Leadfoots and the Causeway Don’t Mix
This is one of those politicized weeks, i.e. a bitch-a-minute – assuaged by a pretty sweet “Rundown,” with blue, bass and drum galore.
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•May 14, 2014
Busted Flat With Headphones on; How to Fight a Fox Over a Turkey
So, I’m cyber-exploring for a set of good headphones for the upcoming fishing season. I’m oft able to tolerate slack-action angling times through ear bombardments of heavy metal music and such. I…
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•May 8, 2014
Pine Pollen Gets Things Poppin’; Flip-Flops Making Good Impressions
PINE POLLEN POPPERS: The yellow is here. The pine pollen is a-fallin’.
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•April 30, 2014
Nose-Bop Sends Shark Scooting; Small Bass Making Some Splash
SHARK ATTACK IS A MERE BUTT BUMP: Australian waverider Mark Byrne had just paddled out at the famed surf spot (not) Winkipop when a five-foot shark “attacked,” literally coming up onto the surface of…
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•April 24, 2014
I’m Too Hip for My Shirt; When Deer Go for Blood
I got word that I gotta get way more hip if I want to expand my readership. That is troubling since my regular readers are generally more into hip replacements than being ass-kickin’ hip. But I still…
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•April 17, 2014
It’s Time to Pelt Some Seals; Bobcat Sweats Out Its Lineage
The bloody war of words and bullets related to harp seal hunting has once again ignited. This week marks the start of the 2014 seal season in Canada. Designers at Versace, Prada and Gucci are licking…
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•April 10, 2014
Bobcat Rocky Is an Underground Hit; Ticks Become Outdoorsman’s Madness
COVERT BOBCATTING: A goodly few folks asked me why I had been unusually mum on the lost bobcat thing over in Manahawkin – seeing such a story was right up my oddness alley. Well, during Rocky’s great…
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•April 3, 2014
Man-Made Islands Are the Bomb; Don’t Sneeze at Tent Caterpillars
MAN-MADE ISLANDS ROCK: I was reading a pie-in-the-sky suggestion that artificial storm islands (my term) could be built off Jersey. Somewhat surprisingly, I have no problem with those artificial…
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•March 27, 2014
Thinking of Spiders as Cuddly; Trout Have a Bad Hatchery Day
OUCHY INLET: Barnegat Inlet mariners, take note. I got the following e-alert from the USCG. Throughout spring and summer, it appears there will beonly a single lane of boat traffic transiting the…
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•March 20, 2014
Dragged Down From Below; LBI’s Green Rocks Totally Rock
This week I feel like getting all tale-y and geology-y. Pretty soon, the fishing might just happen to happen. Yahoo. I’ll even take winter flounder fishing, which is getting pretty radical for an…
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•March 13, 2014
Let Spinning Dogs Do Their Duty; Shooting a Sneering Snowy Owl
MAGNETIC DUMPS: Ever wonder why a dog often does a spin or two before hunkerin’ down to do his business? Neither have I. But Czech scientist Hynek Burda just couldn’t let the matter lie – and that’s…
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•March 6, 2014
Daylight Saving Comes to Life; Cannibalizing Celebrity Salamis
I saw a quote this week that fits me to a T: “Think Outside – No Box Required.” Despite the cruel shoes this winter is stomping us under with, I’ve still been outdoors every spare second I can find –…
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•February 27, 2014
Sitting on Top of the Sushi World; Worms Can Save a Broken Heart
Things are surely slow out there, so it’s a perfect time to write about my great sushi dinner saga. It began with a totally crazed, albeit brilliant, housemate I had out west. I’ll call him Nelson, a…
