SHARK ATTACK IS A MERE BUTT BUMP: Australian waverider Mark Byrne had just paddled out at the famed surf spot (not) Winkipop when a five-foot shark “attacked,” literally coming up onto the surface of his surfboard. In rugged response, the surfer then executed the famed, seldom-actually-tried defense of punching the shark in the nose. No word on whether it was a quick left jab, a right cross or an either-handed haymaker. Whichever, it seemingly worked wonders.