The Fish Story
-
•February 8, 2026
An Executive Order Is All It Would Take to Fend Off the Cold
Just this morning I was standing at my back door, dining upon a blue Pyrex bowl of multiflavored Cheerios and pensively pondering the going-nowhere snow. I idly wondered if snow can eventually die of…
-
•February 1, 2026
Never Has There Been as Phantasmagorical a School Cancellation
With school cancellations in play, it’s the perfect time to wax poetic on our nation’s strangest school closing. It took place within a nearby area now called Galloway Township. Specifically, it…
-
•January 22, 2026
Deep-Sixing Socks Is Pairing Perfectly With 2026 Protocol
Depending on how one reads the cards and stars, we’ve entered into either the Year of the Wooden Snake or – as was recently forwarded to me – the Year to Throw Away Single Socks.
-
•January 20, 2026
Superflu to Tsunamis: The Column Takes Off Stopping in ‘The West’
There’s a mugger of a bug cycling about out there, wearing a gray hoodie that reads “Gotcha!” It’s the flu de jour.
-
•January 8, 2026
Adjust Your Helmets: The New Year Poised to Get Bumpy and Loud
I approach 2026 with a guarded enthusiasm – and an apolitical apprehension.
-
•December 18, 2025
On a Mission: Sifting Beach Sand for Any Plasticizing
Well, it’s that time of year when The SandPaper takes a little siesta – with some fiestas thrown in for the holidays. We’ll be back on the streets in the first full week of January, though major…
-
•December 11, 2025
Fast Start to Frigidity Points to More Cold … or Record Warmth
I already hate the feel of winter and we’re not even there yet, at least not in calendar times.
-
•December 9, 2025
Nowhere to Hide: Unblinking Eyes of AI Upon Us Every Turn
LICENSE TO LOOK IN: Sir AI is up and about during this heavily driven holiday season. Our vehicles are being closely watched – sometimes tracked – at every turn.
-
•November 26, 2025
Bite of Bloodworms Could Assist Building a Well-Fanged Android
Decently painful. That’s how I describe the poisonous four-fang bite of a larger bloodworm, the size we use for bass bait.
-
•November 20, 2025
Making No Cents: Treasury Department Pulls Plug on Pennies
DEAD COIN WALKING/CIRCULATING: The penny is dead. The last was stamped out this month, leaving us with a measly 300 billion still in circulation, waiting to be lost to “erosion” (U.S. Mint term).
-
•November 17, 2025
It’s Kinda Involved: Centuries-Old Roots of Ye ‘Dude’ Term
For unknown reasons, I began researching the roots of the well-worn word dude. What a long, strange trip it became.
-
•November 6, 2025
They Are Out There: Hundreds of USOs Just Off Our Beaches
The ocean at press time (Tuesday) is rather remarkable in an unremarkable way. It’s as flat as the proverbial IHOP pancake. It passes as Lake Atlantic.
-
•November 1, 2025
With Wind Turbines Sinking, Nuclear Efforts Lighting Up With Jersey Fully on Board
We had that rollicking October nor’easter followed by over a week of excellent west-wind sunniness. Now, we’re getting squeezed by another rousing northeast blow. It amounts to sandwichness.
-
•October 27, 2025
The Leaves Are Coiling Up: Timber Rattler Is Out-of-Season Surprise
Somewhat surprisingly, Island beaches have bounced back admirably well after nor’easter waves ran roughshod over them.
-
•October 16, 2025
Heavy-Winded Nor’easter Closes Boulevard, Eats Beaches to the Bone
On the 1-10 severity scale, I give the so-named “October Nor’easter” a respectable 6 in the end. That’s up from an initial 5 rating I gave early Monday, before the more-serious street flooding set in.
-
•October 9, 2025
The Spooky Time of Year When Things Jump Out
It’s the time of year when wildlife can get a little too near … and deer.
-
•October 1, 2025
It’s Pompano and Circumstance as Prized Seafood Is Still Here; Compost Into the Great Beyond
I think we oversold “It’s better in September,” to the point the month has become a mere add-on to summerness, based on crowds, traffic signals and temperatures. I’ll now venture – and believe – that…
-
•September 24, 2025
All In a Night’s Sharking
There’s weird … then there’s just plain freakified, the latter being the case with a mind-bending fish tale related to nighttime anglers taking on a terror of a fish. The hookup took place on the…
-
•September 17, 2025
A New Farming System Targets Our Ocean-Top
For fall aficionados, the skies have been highly accommodating. Where summer is dominated by big, hot Bermuda highs, we’ve lately been hosting cool northern high-pressure systems, a huge one…
-
•September 15, 2025
Migrating to the Deep South (Speaking of the Holgate End)
I’ve successfully made my fall migration to the south, having temporarily flown with the plovers, pelicans and monarch butterflies, at least as far as Holgate, where I broke away.
-
•September 8, 2025
Late-Summer Chills Could Prevent Shot at Hottest-Ever Record
The flourish of cooler air that closed out an otherwise sizzling meteorological summer (June 1 to Aug. 31) might keep us out of the hottest-ever record books.
-
•August 27, 2025
Tropical Close Call Comes at Good Time for Coastal Readiness
For LBI, Erin was no Karen. She played decently nice, after factoring in what might have been.
-
•August 20, 2025
Hurricane Erin Could Mean Big Shifts in Island Beachfronts
There’s not much to say about Cat-3 Hurricane Erin that isn’t already being expounded upon through every known media outlet. I’ll therefore offer some dedicated LBI insights, led with the obvious and…
-
•August 16, 2025
A Botched Inlet Jetty Upgraded to Become One of Coast’s Best
“Wie kann das sein?” That’s me asking “How can this be?” in German – for no apparent linguistic reason, short of the fact it could take a few languages to rationalize how summer’s end is drawing…
-
•August 6, 2025
Being Number One Can Get a Bit Odd Even When Flushing
America is number one in many ways, some of them sorta weird. For odd instance, it is proven that our toilets have the highest water levels of any other nation. That indicates we’re flush with water.
-
•July 30, 2025
Support Sea Turtles Even If They Drive in the Passing Lanes
It came as a certifiable shock to me that sea turtles not only drive, but also do so slowly … and in the frickin’ fast lane, no less. “Move over you, you … reptile!”
-
•July 23, 2025
It’s Hot to the Hilt But Summer Frosts Could Cool Its Jets
It’s a slam dunk that we’re feeling the hottest summer on record … unless we’re hit by August freezes. Hey, just such summer chills happened in 1816, proclaimed “The Year Without a Summer.”
-
•July 16, 2025
‘Jaws’ Celebrates Its 50th to the Worldwide Sound of an Inescapable Ostinato
The movie “Jaws” (1975) is celebrating its 50th anniversary. And it has been an unusually active worldwide celebration for a mere movie, albeit one that irreversibly altered ocean bathing – in the…
-
•July 12, 2025
Be on Lookout: Beach Shade Makers Have Roaming Minds
A short while back, the beaching community did a synchronized cringe upon hearing about the Asbury Park female lifeguard, Alex, 18, who was horribly impaled with a beach-type umbrella. The news went…
-
•July 2, 2025
Sturgeons in General: Rare Fish Seen But Remains Off Limits
The state has issued an alert on one the rarest fish a-swim in our waters. It reads “NJDEP Fish & Wildlife has received recent reports of Atlantic sturgeon sightings in our waterways. … DO NOT…
