“Julian!”

I had wondered why the kids of the family renting across the street seemed to be constantly screaming all week. But every time I heard their parents yell at them from inside the second floor to the yard instead of going to the deck, or (heaven forbid) going down the stairs to talk to them, I realized where they’d picked up this vocal trait.

“Julian, I told ya tree times! If youz go past the bumpa of that car, I’m gonna wring all yuz necks!”

Brilliant.

Normally all of the homeowners on our street are very good at vetting weekly renters.