DAMN MOUTH OF MINE: I recently caught a little heat … from a bagpiper of all people. What arethe odds of that in this day and age … and country? The odds are at least one-in-something since there I was in Ship Bottom, USA, having a to-do with a man-of-the-bag. He felt I had dishonored his leggy attire.

I’ll begin my defense by assuring I have a deep-rooted fascination with words of every ilk, from gaga-simple to pancyclopaedically pretentious.