A beautician named Ellie sent me a story she just knew I’d want to groom. It has to do with the emerging financial potential of facial snail slime. At first, I took this tale with a grain of salt.

Seems the gorgeously skinned, insanely experimental Japan folks are going slime-high to win the never-ending battle for the glossiest flesh known to man. The day of the gossamer gastropod has arrived for deep-pocketed Rising Sunners.

The latest costly craze for women is allowing strategically placed snails to slither – or slime or ooze or whatever –…