To show what lengths I’ll go to for winter column fodder, I’ve turned to  gallstones as both subject matter and a last gasp retirement plan. I speak not of human “stones,” made of bad cholesterol, but cattle gallstones, made of some precious material only recently becoming known to mankind.

The exact makeup of cattle gallstones includes unremarkable calcium salts and calcium phosphate. However, when galled over with bile juices as a catalyst, magical and curative things arise, not the least of…