I have a confession to make, and the start of a new year is, I suppose, as good a time as any to make it: Back during my school days, I was once detained for possession of a pistol.

Not that the gun in question was designed to inflict any sort of injury, let alone a lethal one – although in retrospect I suppose there was always the possibility that the stream of water it discharged could have pooled on the floor, causing someone to slip and suffer a fatal concussion.