Well, ladies and gentleman, you will be happy to know that in the quest to make America tough, strong and ultimately great again, the president has signed the all-important “Ending Procurement and Forced Use of Paper Straws” executive order. This will not make groceries, daycare or housing more affordable. But this is about our image, and nothing projects masculinity like drinking out of a straw.
This is right up there with his Orangeness’ national priorities like renaming the Gulf of Mexico.
Subscribe to keep reading
This story is from our archive. Get your SandPaper Annual Pass for access to our digital archive, plus everything else a pass includes. Details below.
Annual Pass — $18 Details
365-day access to:
- The complete SandPaper digital archive (stories date back to 2012).
- Full photo galleries from our photographers.
- The entire catalog of SandPaper games, puzzles and quizzes.
How it works
- Enter your email below and click to pay the one-time $18. Card details are entered on Stripe’s secure page.
- You’re in straight away — no password to create, and nothing to set up or manage.
- You stay signed in. If you’re ever signed out, or you read on a new phone or computer, we’ll email you a code to get you back in.
- Never auto-renews. Your pass is good for one year. We will email you when it expires so you can renew if you’d like.
See our site policies for more information.
Already a subscriber? We’ll email a code to get you back in.
















