Ampersand

Dating 101: A Short How-To for Seniors

By JIM DOHERTY | Apr 24, 2019

Hi seniors. Looking for someone? We are living longer thanks to wonderful doctors and medical research, but some of us may have lost someone along the way. We all need companionship to fulfill our lives. That future partner is out there also looking.

I believe in angels and Jesus Christ as my savior, but I do have problems with organized religion and I was hopeful the pope would do something significant to straighten things out. My attitude is that the glass is half full and I’m a positive person. My wife is the best. We both were divorced when we met at a singles function years ago. I love it when she walks into a room because she makes things bright and cheerful.

How to meet? Get a church bulletin; they always have writings about single group meetings. Look at newspapers, computer (watch out, be careful). There are opportunities you may have missed. Go to ShopRite or Acme. Don’t be embarrassed to say hello to people. Talk about the weather, make conversation. You will never know if you miss an opportunity to do something, so say something. Join social groups that deal with other seniors. Be a volunteer. Hospitals need you, schools need you.

Go on a date. First, are you two comfortable with your personalities? There’s a lot to talk about, but let’s leave that for the second date. This first one is about comfort and not so much about looks. Instead of it having to do with being easy on the eyes, it should be easy on the hearts. Good conversation should carry the day.

Is there going to be a second date? If so, let’s not overthink it and get too far ahead. On the second date subjects that come up should be kids, grandchildren, where you live, exercise, medical issues, politics, religion, jobs, hobbies, etc. And, yes, who pays for the dates?

After the date you may want to spend more time with this person or go on to someone else. I think you need to really look hard at yourself, some in the mirror, and reach inside yourself and ask if you can compromise because it’s now later in life. This is not about what you may want but what you need at this stage in life.

I’ve got a lot more to say, but not now.

Jim Doherty lives in Waretown, N.J.

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